Grojband Geeks
by jiggylagos
Summary: Parody of "Band Geeks"


Grojband: Band geeks

At the Riffin household Trina is playing the clarinet (badly) the doorbell rings, Trina answers and there's a doctor.

Doctor: Yeah, uhh, we're from the pet hospital from down the street and I understand you have a dying animal on the premises.

Trina: *slams it shut and the phone rings* Hello. You've reached the house of unrecognized talent. Please start after the *plays a note*

Carrie: Sounds like you've got a dying animal to attend to, eh old chum?

Trina: *gasps* Carrie Beff from band class?!

Carrie: I hear you're playing the cash register now.

Trina: Sometimes. How's the band?

Carrie: It's fine. As you know I'm the leader of a band and we're supposed to play the Bubble Bowl.

Trina: The ba-ba-ba… The ba-ba-ba… The ba-ba-ba?!

Carrie: That's right. I'm living your dreams Trina. The problem is my band mates are busy next week and won't make it. So, I was hoping you and your band could cover for us.

Trina: Ohh, uhh, I… I, uhh.

Carrie: I knew it! You don't have a band! Well I'll just get back to practice now.

Trina: HOLD IT! It just so happens I DON'T sell fast food and I DO have a band and we're gonna play that Bubble Bowl! How do you like that, Band Girl?!

Carrie: Good luck, next Tuesday. I hope the audience brings a lot of… Ibuprofen. *hangs up*

Trina: I gotta drum up a band fast! Drum *chuckles* Band humor.

Laney, Kim, Chance Happening, Mayor Mellow, and Nick Mallory are each reading a poster.

Laney: (reading) Looking to add fulfillment to your dull, dull life?

Kim: (reading) Then become the biggest musical sensation to hit Peaceville.

Chance Happening: (reading) And be forever be adored by thousands of people you don't know.

Mayor Mellow: (reading) Not to mention free refreshments.

Nick Mallory: (reading) Practice begins 8:30 sharp.

Trina is seen driving her car and looking at her watch.

Trina: Stupid music rental clerk made me late. That trilobite didn't know an oboe from an elbow. Elbow *chuckles* more band humor,

At the Elementary High Gym.

All: Blah, blah, blah, blah!

Trina: People, people, settle down! Ok, now. How many of you have played musical instruments before?

Kim: Do instruments of torture count?

Trina: No.

Kon: Is mayonnaise an instrument?

Trina: No Kon, mayonnaise is not an instrument.

Kon: *raises his hand*

Trina: Horseradish isn't an instrument either. That's fine. No one has any experience. Fortunately I have enough talent for all of you.

Mayor Mellow: When do we get the free food?

Trina: Ok, try to repeat after me.*plays 6 notes* Brass section, go.

Brass section: *repeats it terribly*

Trina: Good. Now the wind.

Wind section: *also repeats it terribly*

Trina: Now the drums.

Drum section: *misunderstands Trina, blows their sticks at her, pinning her to the wall*

Trina: Too bad that didn't kill me.

(Wicked cool transition!)

Trina: Let's just try stepping in the rhythm. Now I want everyone to stand in straight rows of five.

Corey: Is this the part where we start kicking?

Trina: No, Corey, That's a chorus line.

Kon: Kicking? I wanna do some kicking! *kicks Laney*

Laney: Ow! Why, you…! Why I ought to…! *chases Kon outside where they get into a fight*

Kon: (screaming) AAAAHHHHHHAHAHAHA! (Long pause) *sticks his head inside* Whoever's the owner of a black sedan, you left your lights on. *walks in with his body in his trombone* *he sits down, the trombone slide slides down causing a trombone sound to come out his mouth. He looks down on his trombone while everyone else looks at him awkwardly*

Narrator: Day 2.

The band is walking down the streets playing extremely terribly.

Trina: Okay, That's perfect everybody. Bubble Bowl here we come! Flag twirlers really spin those things. Okay, turn. Flag twirlers, let's go. I wanna see some spinning. Flag twirlers let's move! C'mon move!

Flag twirlers: *they spin their flags so fast they fly up into the air, crash into a blimp, causing an explosion*

Mick Mallory: *plays a sad tune on his trumpet while everyone has their hands on their hearts except Trina who just lies on the ground*

Narrator: Day 3.

Trina: How's that harmonica solo coming Larry?

Larry: It's tremendous, wanna see? *plays the solo but his asthma kicks in and he faints*

Narrator: Day 4.

Trina: Well, this is our last night together before the shoe. And I know none of you have improved since we began.

Kon: *chews on a trumpet*

Trina: But I have a theory. People talk loud when they wanna act smart, right?

Kim: CORRECT!

Trina: So, matbe if we play loudly, everyone will think we're good. Everyone ready?

Everybody else gets their instruments ready.

Trina: *waves her baton* And a 1, and a 2, and a 1,2,3,4! (Cuts outside the school. They play so loudly the windows break. Cuts back inside and Trina's face is deformed and her baton breaks) Ok new theory let's play so quietly, no one can hear us.

Barney: Well maybe we wouldn't sound so bad if some people didn't try to play with small, pinchy hands!

Mayor Mellow: What did you say, punk?!

Barney: SMALL, pinchy, HANDS!

Mayor Mellow: Well these hands aren't just for attracting mates.

Barney: Bring it on, old man! BRING IT ON!

Corey: No, people. Let's be smart and call it off.

Chipper: Oh, so now the talking blueberry is going to preach to us.

Trina: Wait, wait. I know tensions are high…

Everyone: *gets into a fight

Bertha and Nick: *yells at each other*

Beatrice: *smashes a drum on him*

Trina: There's a deposit on that equipment, people!

Mayor Mellow and Barney: *charge at each other with oboes but try to stop*

Chance: *slams them with her cymbals*

Trina: Settle down, please!

Laney and Buzz: *fighting with xylophone and xylophone sticks*

Laney: *breaks the xylophone*

Buzz: *runs away*

Kon: *kicks Laney*

Laney: *growls, grabs a trumpet and chases Kon*

Kon: *runs away screaming*

Clock strikes 10 and everyone stops.

Kin: Hey, class is over.

Everyone walks to the door and when they open it Trina's there.

Trina: Well, you did it. You took my one chance of happiness and crushed it. Crushed it into little, tiny, bite-sized pieces. I really expected better of you people. I guess I'm a loser for that, too. Don't bother showing up tomorrow. I'll just tell them you all died in a marching accident. So thanks, thanks for nothing. *leaves*

Kon: You're welcome.

Corey: What kind of monsters are we? That poor creature came to us in her hour of need, and we failed her. Trina's always been there for us in when it was convenient for her. Kate, when Allie was trapped in a fire, who saved her?

Kate: A fireman

Corey: And Nick, when your heart gave out from all those canning pills, who revived you?

Nick: Some guy in an ambulance.

Corey: Right. So, if we can all just pretend that Trina was a fire fighter or someone in an ambulance, then I'm sure we can all pull together and discover what it truly means to be in a marching band.

Barney: Yeah, for the firemen!

Everyone: HOORAY!

Corey: Now let's make Trina proud. A 1, A2, a skiddleliddleledoo.

(Marching band transition!)

Trina: I knew this was going to happen. They're just going to have to find another band to play. I just hope that… *sees Carrie*… CARRIE DOSEN'T FIND OUT! CARRIE! *screams* What are you doing here?!

Carrie: Oh I just came to watch you blow it. So, where's you're band?

Trina: Uh they couldn't come. They… died

Carrie: Then, who's that?

Trina: *turns around and screams* THAT WOULD BE MY BAND!

Corey: We're ready to perform, Trina.

Carrie: Well, Katrina, this is how I picture how your band looked like.

Corey: *dances*

Trina: That's his… eager face.

Carrie: *laughs as they enter the Bubble Bowl*

Trina: Well, I guess this is the last time I can show my face in this town.

Corey: That's the spirit, Trina.

They get raised into a football stadium and the real world.

Announcer: Ok, football fans. Put your hands together for the Peaceville super band!

Crowd: *cheers loudly*

Kon: These are some oddly looking people.

Corey: Maybe we're in one of those toxic dumps.

Mayor Mellow: I think I'm gonna be sick.

Trina: (Nervously) Alright everyone *looks at Carrie who smiles and bounces her eyebrow* let's get this over with *waves her baton and closes her eyes in fear* 1, 2, 3, 4…

Band plays a great intro and Trina opens her eyes in surprise.

Kim: *plays her keyboard*

Corey: (singing) The winner takes all, it's the thrill of one more kill. The last on to fall will never sacrifice their will. Don't ever look back on the world closing in. Be on the attack with your wings on the wind. Oh, the games will begin.

Carrie: *looks in shock*

Trina: *gives her a smug look, throws her baton away and uses her arms for conducting*

Corey: And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah. And it's ours for the taking; it's ours for the fight.

Carrie: *faints and gets carried away on a stretcher*

Trina: *waves a smug goodbye to her and runs to the middle of the stage*

Corey: And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah. And the one who's last to fall. We will have sweet, sweet, sweet victory…

Trina: *jumps into the air freezeframed*


End file.
